doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
