i just had sex bonerless
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
