my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
