I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
