i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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