Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
