Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
