I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
