Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
