Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
