I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
