Do vagina's smell?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
