Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize