Your face is a jimmy john
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
