Pants 0. Shit 1.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize