Pass out mid-funnel last night.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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