its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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