Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
