Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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