After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
