shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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