just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
