wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
