How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize