And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
