if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
