You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
