Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
