And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
