she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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