i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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