I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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