Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
