So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
