He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
