There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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