Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
