well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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