Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
