I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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