I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
