i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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