hell yes lets make some ravioli
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
