How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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