Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize