4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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