I need help removing her.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
