I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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