So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
