If that was your dad, he is hot
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
