I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
