Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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