on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
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I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
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You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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