bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
