that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
