gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
