You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
