ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
