You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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