yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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