farters have to be the big spoon...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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