His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
