Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
