Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you traded sex for a burrito?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
