do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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