it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
