I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
