I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
ttyl tear gas
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
