My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
